| Thank you for your interest in exploring what the
Voice Dialogue method can offer and we hope the following information
will shed some light on questions you may be dealing with.
What is Voice Dialogue?
Why should I learn Voice Dialogue?
What is different or unique about Voice Dialogue?
“So if I do Voice Dialogue, how will it change
my life?”
More Info
The following four questions with their corresponding answers are
linked to Dr. Hal and Sidra Stone, the founders of the Voice Dialogue
method, on their International website.
What
are the Selves?
What
is the Aware Ego’s role?
Is
the Aware Ego “I Am?”
Voice
Dialogue, God and Guides
What is Voice Dialogue?
When people are described for example as “pushy, nice, head
strong, manipulative, a hard worker, insecure, a Mother Theresa,
brainy, reliable, a yes person, aloof, or always helpful”,
we are describing a characteristic in their personality that stands
out above the rest. In Voice Dialogue, we see each of these characteristics
as sub-personalities or selves of the individual. Because these
selves have become so dominant in the person, we often mistakenly
assume that this is who the person is. What we are not aware of
is that there is an opposite self to this dominant self that is
not seen very often. For example, the hard working part of us doesn’t
want us to rest and in its extreme has us working from morning till
night. So the part of us that would put our feet up can rarely come
out. This could be one reason why it takes many people a week out
of their two week holiday to relax and stop having to do, do, do.
Voice Dialogue is a method that helps us to become aware of the
many different selves that are either running our life or need to
be brought more into our life in order to achieve balance. This
awareness is the first essential step in making the kind of changes
we want. As this self-awareness grows, we experience the unfolding
of the uniqueness of who we are as human beings as well as how all
our relationships are impacted by these sub-personalities.
In Voice Dialogue, through an actual conversation with your sub-personalities,
you get to experience just how much these selves either run your
life or need to be brought into your life. This seems weird or strange
at first, but as these conversations continue, you become aware
of just how real these selves are. This process of dialoguing can
be exciting and scary at the same time.
With a deepening awareness of ourselves and others, you are able
to understand situations in your life differently and make choices
that you’ve never been able to make before. That’s exciting.
For example, when I become aware of how much the Self that says
“yes” to people but now am aware of the Self that can
say “no” sometimes, I have “true” choice
in my life. With being able to choose ‘yes’ and ‘no’,
I can enjoy my relationships more because I commit to doing what
fits for me.
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Why should I learn Voice Dialogue?
Please don’t feel pressured or obligated to learn Voice Dialogue
or any other self-growth system. If you are curious about Voice
Dialogue and want to explore it further, here are some of the benefits
Voice Dialogue could bring to your life:
- Give new meaning or perspective to your life
- Help you get unstuck from old, repetitive habits
- Not be held hostage by those internal voices that can be so
critical, exhausting, and leave you feeling so inadequate
- Be less run by rules, your emotions, or your head
- Experience real choice in your life
- Be more effective and efficient
- Re-kindle passion and life energy
- Profoundly increase your awareness of yourself, others, and
your world around you
- Overcome your debilitating fears and learn how to use them
to your advantage
- Understand the complexity of relationships and what makes them
work or not work
- Have a compassion for our humanness that honours the good,
the bad, the ugly and the beautiful in our self and others
- Deeply experience the essence/uniqueness of who you are
- Do the unimaginable by making the seemingly impossible possible
Many other spiritual, philosophical, and psychological approaches
can also bring you many of these benefits. So the question is:
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What is different or unique about Voice
Dialogue?
There are four key concepts that make Voice Dialogue unique:
1) Focusing on the “Who” of the Issue
One of the favourite sayings in Voice Dialogue is: “Who is
talking?” In Voice Dialogue you want to understand which sub-personality
or self is actually involved in the issue or problem. So if the
problem is anger, you want to talk to the self that is angry rather
than talking about the situation that makes the person angry. Voice
Dialogue is less interested in the why, how, what or when
of the problem because once you understand who is talking, it becomes
clear why the problem is there in the first place.
2) The Voice Dialogue Method
Although Voice Dialogue can resemble other psychological approaches
such as Gestalt Therapy, the process of having people dialogue with
their different sub-personalities or selves as real personalities
is unique to Voice Dialogue. Energetically separating from these
selves and using them as resources adds to Voice Dialogue’s
uniqueness.
3) The Development of the Aware Ego Process
The Voice Dialogue method first focuses on awareness; that is, becoming
aware of who is actually running your life and what you have had
to disown. Then, as you become increasingly aware of the gifts and
limitations of the selves in your life, you begin to have more and
more conscious choice about what you really want for yourself. The
art of using or not using different parts of your personality is
probably the key concept in Voice Dialogue.
4) Conscious Linkage
The ability to stay in relationship with another person, especially
if you are in conflict with that person, is another critical key
concept in Voice Dialogue. This is a very hard concept to explain.
It really needs to be experienced to be understood.
When you are in relationship with someone, you have the opportunity
to extend your energy out to them; like sun rays coming through
the clouds. These rays are easy to extend when you have warm feelings
toward someone. However, if you are angry at them, you usually withdraw
your energy; like the clouds blocking out the Sun.
It is important in building and maintaining relationships to stay
connected to the other person so that you don’t feel abandoned
or minimized when trouble comes in the relationship. In Voice Dialogue,
one of the key ways to stay in conscious linkage with people is
to understand their vulnerability. From seeing their vulnerability,
you have the potential to become compassionate about the struggles
they are in; that is, they are human beings like your self. To consciously
choose to keep our energetic connection to the other person is uniquely
hard to do but also creates an amazing problem-solving process if
you do.
Another question emerges from these four key concepts and that is:
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“So if I do Voice Dialogue, how will
it change my life?”
When the four key concepts above are implemented, certain
attitudes and practices emerge from the Voice Dialogue experience:
- When you completely embrace all of your sub-personalities and
do not try to get rid of anything you don’t like about your
‘Selves’, there is a deep acceptance of the gifts
and limitations that every Self brings to your life.
- With the acceptance of these gifts and limitations, a profound
compassion evolves for our humanness.
- When you truly accept your humanness, there is a peace/contentment
inside because there is no need to be right or wrong, no need
to blame self or others, no need to judge others, and no need
for ‘me vs. them’.
- Once there is not a ‘me vs. them’ attitude, you
can allow yourself your
vulnerability without the usual defences. Now it is possible for
you to see yourself in others and how others mirror back who you
are. Everyone and every situation becomes a teacher for you.
One of the most important teachings in Voice Dialogue is
how to balance the various ‘Selves’ in your life. Through
the Awareness/Consciousness that evolves from the dialoguing process,
you learn how to use your different Selves in a balance that works
for you at any give moment in any given situation. This, of course,
is a life-long learning.
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More Info
The previous pages of questions and their corresponding answers are
areas which Donna & Murray expand on in their Guides and PowerPoint
Presentations on the Basics of Voice Dialogue. Their resources are
available through the Bookstore at this
site. Also, the Armstrong’s offer group trainings with extensive
experiential exposure using the Voice Dialogue method. If you are
interested please refer to the Announcements and Trainings section of this website.
We offer these questions and their answers to assist
you in expanding your understand of Voice Dialogue and the Aware
Ego Process in order to “re/member our wholeness”,
which Donna and Murray mentor as their motto for Voice Dialogue
Edmonton.
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